The feeling of anger is not alien to us as we all go through it at some point or the other in our lives. The rush of blood, tightening of muscles, heart beating fast and the need to vent it all out. Sounds like you are about to propose to somebody! But that’s not the case here. Your annoyance can cross its limit and become a rage if you do not have the trick to control it before it brings havoc to your life.
It is perfectly normal to be angry with someone unless it crosses its limit. There are many healthy ways to express it to the other person and must be avoided at any cost to become destructive in any way- harming yourself or others whom you think have wronged you in any way. Avoiding provocation as it is completely in our hands.
What is anger?
Anger is a feeling of hostility, an act of provocation, a feeling that is the result of some external trigger that pushes you towards harming others, yourself or you feel like crying if what you want to do something at that point in time and cannot be done. Anger can also be due to depression or anxiety issues. If this is the case then you can opt for counselling for depression.
There are different ways in which anger is expressed by different people. There are different forms of expression- passive aggression, open aggression, or assertive anger. In Passive aggression, people try to ignore things and people, either they sulk or try to remain silent. They try to get into any fights or arguments and prefer remaining silent. Open aggression brings with it the violent behaviour where one can hurt the other person physically also. On the other hand, assertive anger is the most sought after expression as it opens communication between the two people who are angry and the other who is an aggressor healthily.
Anger to a large extent brings with it serious consequences that can be damaging for both the parties.
Symptoms of too much anger:
- Feeling of repressing angry feelings.
- Frequent arguing with people around you
- Disregard for rules and laws.
- Physical violence that includes hitting others or hurting them.
- Threats of violence
- Reckless behaviour or Breaking things
What is anger management?
Anger management is all about recognizing the signs of anger and helps you in controlling anger by dealing with the situation in a constructive manner. In this whole process, you are able to identify what causes and triggers the anger in you. It also helps in resolving it by applying the ways to control it. It does not in any way stop you from feeling angry or hold it. Instead, it will help you to deal with it and express it appropriately.
If you experience the following signs then you should think of controlling it.
- Threatening people with violet behaviour
- Get involved in physical abuse, violence or verbal abuse
- Reckless or irresponsible behavior
- Avoiding situations due to anxiety
- Constantly getting into verbal spats with people that can turn into violence
- Persistent pessimistic thoughts
- Constantly feeling irritable
- feel the need to hold your temper
Ways in which you can deal with anger in a healthy manner
- Open communication: By opening up in front of the people who are the cause of your anger and talking to them can be the best way to manage your anger. Whenever you think that the situation is going out of hand then it is best to cool down and communicate. Let the other person speak and speak your mind when communicating with the other person. Most of the time it is better than being defensive. Don’t blame others:
- Problem solving: though it is not a new one but the problem-solving approach can help a lot in managing your anger. Even if it seems that it is impossible to find a solution to a problem it is best to face it. Breathing exercise can also be a great comforter in an adverse situation like these.
- Don’t blame others: While having an open communication do not try to blame others as it can convert into an argument rather try to explain the other what hurts you or offended you.
- Perform relaxation skills: Whenever you feel heated up try to chant calming mantras, do breathing exercises or try to imagine happy faces and relaxing scenes. All this can help you to come back to your normal self.
- Positive mindset: Try to keep a positive and calm mindset and replace angry thoughts with calming mantras. Try to remain sane and make yourself understand than being irrational does not help and this can really help a lot.
Reach out for help
If you still feel that the above means are not helping you or you are not able to calm yourself down even after practising them then the best way is to reach out for help. Do not waste time and seek the help of a psychologist or a professional who can help carve a personalized strategy as per your condition to help you out. You can even opt for anger management therapy online if you are not comfortable for a face to face session with the psychologist.
It will help you communicate effectively, prevent social or personal issues, avoid negative feelings, and maintain good physical and mental health.