Divorce is often viewed as a taboo, not only by conservative, religious folks but by the general public, It often gets a bad rap for “destroying the sanctity of marriage” and “ruining families”. It comes with a financial burden too, since there are children custody, properties, and businesses involved. With all these stressful, exhausting, and costly procedures plus the stigma associated with divorce, it’s only practical to just settle for a bad, toxic marriage, right?
But here’s the thing: life is short to get stuck with a person you can’t stand and be miserable for years. There might be a lot of opportunities you might miss if you let that diamond ring and piece of paper enslave both of you. Those vows mean nothing now if you keep hurting each other every day until you lose yourselves. The earlier you accept that you shared a lot of good times but the marriage just isn’t working out, the easier it will be to move on.
If you’ve tried everything to save your marriage, including face-to-face or online couples counseling, but nothing seems to be working, then it may be best to let it go. On the brighter side, there are a couple of good things to look forward to. Here are 7 ways divorce can benefit couples.
1. You’ll gain freedom
Marriage is a commitment, and commitment comes with a lot of compromises. You may have skipped several TGIF nights with your friends or agreed to have a curfew. You may have stopped going to the salon and spa. You may be pressured to go to a particular place you’re not genuinely interested in. You may even be forced to eat food you don’t like due to your diet differences. All you think about is your family, how to keep it intact and how to save the money in your joint bank account.
When you get divorced, you’re in charge of your own time, money, and decisions. No one’s going to limit you.
2. You’ll become a better parent
Bad marriage drains away all your happiness and energy, thus causing you to neglect other people who matter the most to you: your kids. Divorce isn’t all about the freedom to drink, date, and focus on your personal growth. It will also allow you to focus more on your children and their needs.
Not living under one roof doesn’t necessarily cause the collapse of the family. In fact, children develop more trauma when they grow up in a hostile environment, seeing their parents fight and hurt each other non-stop.
3. You’ll learn how to be independent
Throughout your marriage, you rely on your partner to do the things you couldn’t do, like driving, doing the math, cooking, plumbing, home repairs, computer stuff, etc, Losing your partner means having to do these adult things on your own. It can be scary, but hey, it can also be exciting.
Divorce will allow you to step out of your comfort zone and figure out how to live independently. You may have rewarding experiences or you may commit mistakes. Either way, these decisions are your own.
4. Your physical and mental health will improve
How happy, satisfied, and cared for you are in your marriage affects your overall health. So if you live in a hostile home, with non-stop verbal abuse and overthinking, then you’re no different from someone with chronic work stress.
When you get divorced, you’ll get the chance to relax from the stress and responsibilities associated with a bad marriage, which will then significantly improve your health.
5. You’ll put an end to abuse
Domestic violence is not okay. You did not sign up for that when you exchange your wedding vows. Your home should be your sanctuary, not a prison cell with a perpetrator on the same bed as you, torturing you mentally and physically every single day.
If your partner is abusive, turn to the family court and seek therapy or counseling. You may be gaslighted, causing you to feel bound to your abuser. You may have a hard time accepting the fact that the one you used to love is hurting you and constantly giving them more chances, hoping they’d change. But they won’t. If they do, they should be responsible for their own healing while you take care of yours.
And the best way to heal and love yourself is to get out of the environment that caused your sickness. It takes extra courage to stand up for yourself and leave an abusive marriage, but it will all be worth it.
6. You might meet the right one
When you’re divorced, you’ll get to meet new people without the guilt feeling of infidelity. You can make friends with new faces and date people with or with no strings attached, You can even fall in love again and remarry the person you’re actually compatible with — someone you’d want to spend the rest of your life with.
7. You’ll rediscover yourself
You may lose your spouse but you may regain yourself. This may sound a little cheesy but yes, divorce will allow you to pay more attention to your personal growth and healing. You can focus on the things that will make you genuinely happy without thinking about anybody else for approval. You may meet your previous self again — the one that’s been lost when you had commitments. Or you may also meet a better version of yourself and discover more things you’re capable of.
You’ll devote all of your energy to your personal development. You can concentrate on honing your skills and mastering a new hobby. You’ll have more time socializing with your friends and even include more people in your circle. You can realize your dreams and be a better version of yourself.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for Relationship Room Couples Counseling, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. She may be hopeless romantic but she’s got some straightforward pieces of advice about love, dating, and relationships.